Don't Feed the Plants
by Cute Gallifreyan
Summary: [Doctor Who x Little Shop of Horrors Crossover] The Doctor and Martha Jones end up in 1960's California on Skid Row where an ominous hungry plant brings doom to the human race. 10th Martha
1. Prologue

**A/N: I just saw the play Little Shop of Horrors and I know the idea probably isn't too original but decided to do a crossover with it. I am quite fond of crossovers and I thought it would be interesting to do a Little Shop of Horrors and Doctor Who crossover. Standard disclaimers of course apply as I do not own Doctor Who or Little Shop of Horrors. Please R/R. **

**XXXXXX**

**Don't Feed the Plants **

**Chapter One: Prologue **

On the twenty-third day of the month of September  
in an early year of a decade not too long before our own,  
the human race suddenly encountered a deadly  
threat to its very existence.  
And this terrifying enemy surfaced;  
as such enemies often do,  
in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places….

The Doctor grinned lightly at Martha Jones, "So Martha how does 1960's California sound to you?"

"Sounds great Doctor, but what about it being 1960? Won't I….you know. People don't exactly….well you know how 1913 was."

"Oh Martha Jones, don't you even worry about that. It will be fine." The Doctor began operating the TARDIS. The central column went up and down and the TARDIS dematerialized away from Martha Jones flat.

-0o0-

Meanwhile…..

Seymour Krelbourn adjusted his glasses and looked at his new fine. He could hardly believe his luck. After finding the plant after a solar eclipse and hearing a strange otherworldly sound. Seymour eagerly bought the plant off a strange Chinese guy for a $1.95 as it sat in his cart full of zinnias. He looked at the strange looking pod like plant. He was fascinated by plants; after all he had spent a good part of his life tending plants. When he was young, Mr. Mushnik noticed his talent for plants and took him out of the boys' home and raised him, seeing an opportunity to get a lot out of him. Regarding the plant, Seymour felt a strange sort of destiny; it was as if he was meant to have it. However, he also had a slight feeling of doom concerning it. It slightly unnerved him but it was driven aside when suddenly he heard Mr. Mushnik yelling at him to tend to some bulbs in the back of the shop. Seymour went running into the shop with his new find.

Little shop, little shoppa horrors.  
Bop sh-bop, you'll never stop  
the terror.  
Little shop, little shoppa horrors.  
No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!


	2. Love Hurts

**Chapter Two: Love Hurts **

"This should be it Martha, good ole sand and surf and plenty of Beach Boys music."

Martha smiled, she was wearing a bathing suit and ready for an enjoyable day at the beach, "I have been looking forward to a break from exams."

"I know, that's why I decided that good ole 1960 was the place to go," The Doctor said with a good natured grin.

The TARDIS dematerialized and the Doctor opened the door. Martha Jones exited and frowned, "Doctor, this is not the beach."

The Doctor looked around, around him was various run down flats. He could hear yelling and screaming. A woman or at least they looked like a woman, walking down the street. He stopped and looked at Martha and smiled, "Nice swimsuit, I really ought to get myself one of those. But you're a long way from the beach, honey. What happen did you take a wrong turn?"

Martha blushed lightly, "You could say that."

The Doctor put on his glasses and looked at the 'woman', "That's my fault actually. Where are we?"

"You're on skid row."

Alarm goes off at seven  
And you start uptown.  
You put in your eight hours  
For the powers that have always been.  
Till it's five P.M.

Then you go

Downtown  
Where the folks are broke.  
Downtown  
Where your life's a joke.  
Downtown  
When you buy your token,  
you go  
Home to skid row.

Yes, you go

Downtown  
Where the cabs don't stop  
Downtown  
Where the food is slop  
Downtown  
Where the hop-heads flop  
in the snow  
Down on Skid Row

Uptown you cater to a million jerks.  
Uptown you're messengers and  
mailroom clerks  
eating all your lunches at the  
hot dog carts.  
The bosses take your money  
And they break your hearts.

Uptown you cater to a million whores.  
You disinfect terrazzo on their  
bathroom floors.  
Your morning's tribulation,  
afternoon's a curse  
And five o'clock is even worse

That's when you go

Downtown  
Downtown  
Downtown  
Down on skid row  
Down on skid row  
Down on skid row  
Down on skid row!

Someone show me a way to get  
outa here,  
'cause I constantly pray I'll get  
outa here  
Please, won't somebody say I'll get  
outa here  
Someone gimme my shot or I'll  
rot here.

The Doctor nodded, "Never mind, I get the point." He then grinned, "Martha this is brilliant. Of all the places the TARDIS picked it chose skid row. Now you watch, these people they are the lowest of the low. They starve, they preserver and yet…." He gave Martha a squeeze, "You humans really are amazing!"

The 'woman' gave the Doctor an odd look, "Humans?"

The Doctor chuckled, "That's right. I am an alien."

She then laughed and turned to Martha, "He'd fit in here nicely."

The 'woman' then wandered off. Martha then whispered, "Doctor was that a…."

The Doctor grinned, "Yep. The 60's were lots of fun, Martha Jones. Some had a little more fun than others."

Suddenly a motor cycle was heard as a man who looked a lot like 'James Dean' or maybe even a bit like 'Elvis' drove up. He wore a leather jacket and the Doctor sighed, "I remember when I wore a leather jacket like that."

Martha frowned, "You wore a leather jacket?"

The Doctor grinned, "I sure did. Can't understand why I did though. It wasn't very practical, all that leather and I'd get hot and sweaty in it. But that was so long ago and I was a different man back then."

A girl sat on the back of the bike and she got off the bike, she gave the rider of the bike a kiss on the cheek and the man took off. She looked a bit like a cross between Marilyn Monroe, except this girl had a nasty black eye.

Meanwhile a big burly man stood in front of the shop. "Audrey, where'd you get that shiner? I tell you that boyfriend of yours is no good."

Audrey said, "Mr. Mushnik, this is Skid Row, none of the boys are any good."

Where the guys are drips.  
Where they rip your slips.  
Where relationships are no go.  
Down on skid row  
Down on skid row  
Down on skid row  
Down on skid row!

Mr. Mushnik opened the door of his shop and yelled, "Seymour Krelbourn, have you finished with those bulbs yet?"

Seymour ran to the door with pots in his hand, "Yes sir, yes sir." Seymour suddenly dropped the pots and a dozen bulbs went tumbling out all over the place."

Mr. Mushnik glared at Seymour, "I take it that those were my bulbs, you slob. I took you in to help me, Seymour not to make a mess. Clean it up Krelbourn."

"Yes, Mr. Mushnik."

Mr. Mushnik went inside the shop.

Seymour sighed and began to slowly clean up.

Poor! All my life I've always been poor.  
I keep asking God what I'm for,  
and he tells me "Gee, I'm not sure  
sweep that floor, kid."  
Oh, I started life as an orphan,  
a child of the street  
Here on skid row.  
He took me in, gave me shelter, a bed,  
Crust of bread and a job  
Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob,  
Which I am.

A bulb landed near the Doctor's foot. He grinned and picked it up and he sighed, "You dropped this."

Seymour took the bulb from the Doctor's hand, "Thanks…."

"Not a problem."

Audrey came out with a broom, "Here Seymour…."

She looked at the Doctor and Martha Jones, "You chose the wrong place for a swim."

Martha blushed lightly, "It his fault." And Martha motioned towards the Doctor.

Audrey nodded, "Gee he's tall and he so cute what with that British accent. Is he your boyfriend?"

Martha shook her head negatively, "No, that's just the Doctor. He's not my boyfriend."

"Doctor….really? My boyfriend is a doctor too….well sort of. He's a dentist."

Martha nodded and looked at the black eye, "Did your boyfriend give you that?"

Audrey cringed a bit and then spoke up firmly, "What's it to ya? I have got a hard enough life and then I have some colored girl telling me I ought to do something about it."

Martha said softly, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to….its just that you really ought to put some ice on it."

Audrey's posture softened some and she sighed, "You think so? What are you some sort of doctor as well?"

"Actually I am training to be a doctor."

Audrey laughed, "That's funny. A girl like you training to be a doctor, I guess we all have dreams though."

Martha flinched. Something about Audrey's words seemed really offensive but then she realized this was 1960. For a woman like her to want to become a doctor really was an impossibility.

Martha said calmly, "I have lots of dreams. Where I come from, girls like me become doctors and lawyers and all sorts of things."

Audrey laughed some more, "Those really are dreams, but here on skid row no one really has that much of a chance."

"And boyfriends hurt their girlfriends."

Audrey sighed, "Love hurts…ummm"

"I am Martha Jones."

"Love hurts, Martha Jones, especially on skid row."

"I am sorry…umm."

"Audrey."

"That's a pretty name."

Audrey smiled, "You think so? No one compliments me that much, well except Seymour."

The Doctor listened to the two girls talk meanwhile he helped Seymour clean up the mess and Seymour was protesting all the way, "Mr. Mushnik wouldn't like this, sir. You really shouldn't help me."

The Doctor shook his head, "I shouldn't but I am. I am the Doctor, what's your name?"

"Seymour Krelborn."

"Pleasure to meet you, Seymour Krelborn."

The Doctor took up the broom from Audrey's hands while Martha and her talked.

"Honestly get two girls together and they never shut up." The Doctor began to sweep up the spilled soil off the ground. Seymour said, "I wouldn't know, sir."

"Don't be so nervous, Seymour. You really ought to chill a bit more."

"I can't, sir. See Mr. Mushnik took me in as a small boy. He gave me a home. If I was to 'chill' as you put it, he might throw me out and then where would I go?"

The Doctor sighed and nodded, "I understand. But you don't have to call me sir. Just call me Doctor."

Seymour smiled, "Doctor…."

"That's it."

The two finished cleaning up the mess and gathering up the bulbs. The Doctor smiled, "There all finished. I have to admit this is a strange spot for a florist."

Seymour nodded, "It is but Mr. Mushnik is a good man. See he thought this little shop would help the community."

The Doctor grinned, "That's what I love about you humans. You put something in a lowly little spot and you make it go."

Seymour frowned, "Humans? Aren't you human, Doctor?"

"No I am not."

Seymour backed away from the Doctor, he obviously was crazy and on skid row there were plenty of odd balls and strange people. "Come on Audrey. We really need to get inside the shop. Mr. Mushnik will be upset if we don't get back inside the shop soon."

Audrey frowned, "Why?"

Seymour whispered in Audrey's ear. Audrey turned to Martha with a look of sympathy as well and then said quietly to her, "You poor thing. And I thought I had troubles. Good bye Martha Jones. Just be careful of that guy of yours and make sure he doesn't hurt you."

Martha frowned, "Hurt me?"

"Yea, these nut jobs can be dangerous."

Martha looked at the Doctor and he grinned. Meanwhile Seymour and Audrey went back inside the shop.

Martha shook her head, "Do you have to tell everyone right off that you're an alien?"

"Martha Jones, this is skid row. I was just having some fun."

Martha sighed and the Doctor's smile faded, "Oh you're probably right. But you better change; you look a bit daft standing out here in a bathing suit."

Martha snorted, "I look daft. I am not the one who goes around saying that I am an alien."

"Uhhh….back to the TARDIS."

They walked back to the TARDIS passing a homeless mental guy with a piece of cardboard that stated: The end of the world is coming….

The Doctor grinned and stated, "You've got a long time to wait. Try at least 5 billion years from now."

The homeless guy looked at the Doctor strangely and then ran off, convinced that the Doctor was mentally off.

Martha shook her head, "Doctor that wasn't nice."

The Doctor gave a bit of a sheepish look at Martha but didn't say anything. He then took out his key and opened the TARDIS door. They then went inside the blue box.

**XXXX**

**A/N: Okay I consider this my first in-depth chapter. Hope you all like it and please R/R **


	3. A Strange and Interesting Plant

**Chapter Three: A Strange and Interesting Plant **

_Tic-tock…_

_Tic-tock…_

_Tic-tock…_

The clock kept slowly ticking as minute passed to hour and hour passed to minute. No one came into Mushnik's flower shop. Audrey spent the time filing various papers, mostly bills into one pile. Mr. Mushnik meanwhile spent time going over his inventory, perhaps looking at all his ferns and flowers maybe one would mysteriously get sold sometime today. Seymour on the other hand kept sweeping up the shop. There really wasn't too much to do today.

-0o0-

Martha Jones had finally changed out of the swim suit she wore and wore a top with a mini-skirt. Meanwhile the Doctor had wires and various bits of the TARDIS strewn all over the console room floor. He muttered, "Maybe she needs an overhaul. I haven't overhauled her since, a good three hundred years or so."

"Doctor…."

No answer. The Doctor was busy, sonic screwdriver in his hand trying to repair or perhaps even disrepair the TARDIS.

"Doctor…."

The Doctor heard Martha's voice and clunked his head on a bit of paneling. He cried out in pain and rubbed his sore head and looked up at Martha and smiled. She said to him, "Doctor, is this alright for the 1960's?"

The Doctor was still working on the TARDIS. "Hmm….oh….yes, it looks fine Martha."

"There has to be something wrong. I know I specifically put in for the California coastline.

Martha frowned, she had never seen the Doctor get worked up about the TARDIS so much to literally have the TARDIS torn and scattered all over the console room floor. "I don't care, Doctor. I am just happy to be wherever you take me."

The Doctor was scratching his head, a glob of oil from somewhere in the TARDIS made his hair stand up on end. "Well…normally I'd agree with you but…."

"But what Doctor?"

"It's complicated. You go out Martha and have a bit of fun. I'll join you later."

Martha was concerned, she had never seen the Doctor forgo a trip outside of the TARDIS; usually the Doctor dropped everything and went with her. If trying to figure out an error with the TARDIS was this important then it had to be serious.

"Doctor, please tell me what's wrong."

The Doctor sighed, "Thing is Martha, I am not even sure what's wrong. I must be getting old." The Doctor suddenly muttered, "I never use to be like this when I was younger. But I just have this feeling that something is off somehow. I guess I am just getting old. Old and jittery. I use to be less on edge when I was younger."

Martha nodded she didn't doubt the Doctor's feelings. Somehow the Doctor always knew when something was up. She supposed it was his Time Lord senses, she didn't know what the Doctor was like when he was younger, but it troubled him enough to mention it.

She then said, "Well sitting here and fretting over it isn't going to do us much good Doctor. Why don't we go out and get some ice cream. Then we can come back and worry about what's wrong with the TARDIS."

The Doctor grinned, "That's a wonderful idea Martha Jones. Why didn't I think of that before?"

Martha smiled, "Because you're too much of a worry wart."

The Doctor frowned, "Hey….I resent that. I am not a worry wart."

Martha grinned; she was glad to distract the Doctor some, he seemed so troubled and if she could get him to think of something else just for a little while it was well worth it. She shook her head, "Yes, you are…."

"No, I am not…."

-0o0-

_6:00 PM _

Mr. Mushnik looked up firmly from the counter and said to Audrey and Seymour, "6:00 and I haven't sold as much as a fern. Alright that's it." He pounded his hands down on the table in defeat and said, "Forget it, don't bother coming in tomorrow."

Audrey began to pout, "But Mr. Mushnik, you don't really mean that, do you?"

Seymour suddenly cried out, "But you can't."

Mr Mushnik shook his head, "What do you want me to do? It's over, kaput. That's it I am closing this God-forsaken place."

Seymour was nervous, he wasn't sure whether or not to tell him his idea, he shifted around a bit and then said, "Mr. Mushnik, I…I… I want to say, has it ever occurred to you that maybe we need to come up with a new direction for this store."

Audrey knew about Seymour's idea and said gently, "I think what Seymour is trying to say is…" She then paused and then said, "Seymour why don't you run downstairs and bring up that strange and interesting new plant you've been working on."

Seymour went downstairs to fetch the plant he was working on.

Audrey then said to Mr. Mushnik, "You see Mr. Mushnik, Seymour has been tinkering on this plant and we thought that maybe if we had a strange and interesting new plant prominently displayed in the right place and properly advertised might actually help the store."

Seymour came up from the basement carrying the plant in his hands, "I am afraid it isn't feeling very well today." He put it down on a table and Audrey stated, "There isn't that bizarre."

All three of them looked at the strange looking plant, Mr. Mushnik frowned, "Yes, very bizarre. Seymour, what kind of a plant is that?"

"I don't know, sir. I think it's some type of flytrap. But I can't identify it in any of my books. But I gave it my own name though; I call it the Audrey II. "

Audrey looked honored and said, "After me?"

"I hope you don't mind." Seymour said with a slight nervous tremor in his voice.

Audrey's hand went to her chest and she squeaked lightly.

Seymour took the plant up and moved it to the window, "You see sir, if we put out a strange and interesting plant here in the window, then maybe…"

Mr. Mushnik snorted, "Maybe….maybe what? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? Just because you put a strange and interesting plant in the window, people don't suddenly…."

The door suddenly opened and a fancy well to do man from uptown entered, "Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting plant, what is it?"

Audrey smiled and said, "It's an Audrey II."

The man stated elatedly, "I have never seen anything like it before."

Seymour interjected, "No one has…"

He then asked, "Where did you get it?"

Seymour then said, "Well do you remember that total eclipse of the sun we had about a week ago…."

Da-doo,  
I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day  
Shoop da-doo,  
and I passed by this place where this old Chinese man  
Chang da-doo  
he sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings,  
Snip da-doo,  
'cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.  
Da da da da da da-doo.

He didn't have anything unusual there that day.

Nope, da-doo,  
so I was just about to, ya know, walk on by,  
Good for you,  
when suddenly,  
Da doo  
and without warning, there was this total eclipse of the sun.

It got very dark and there was this strange humming  
sound like something from another world.  
Da-doo,  
And when the light came back this weird plant was just sitting there,

whoop-see-doo  
just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.  
Audrey Two.  
I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before,  
but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways,  
for a dollar ninety-five.  
Sha la la, la la la, la la la loo.

The man then said, "Well that is an unusual story, and a fascinating plant." The man then proceeded to leave but he then turned around, "Oh while I am here I might as well take $50 worth of roses."

Mr. Mushnik's eyes widened, "$50!"

Audrey and Mr. Mushnik ran over quite ecstatic and ready to do business with the man. But suddenly the man said, "Can you break a $100?"

Mushnik and Audrey paused down hearted; they didn't have that much money on them to break a hundred dollar bill.

Mushnik repeated, "A $100?" And then said, "Ah no…"

The man held up the bill and said, "Well then I guess I'll have to pay for twice as many."

Seymour looked incredulously, "Twice as many!"

All of a suddenly the shop was a fervor of activity. People were buying roses and saying that they had all come into see the 'strange and interesting plant.'

A crowd was outside waiting to buy flowers...

-0o0-

Martha and the Doctor were walking by eating ice cream, they suddenly passed nearby the florist shop seeing a long line and the Doctor raised an eyebrow. Something wasn't right about this.

He tried to push his way through but was held back by the mob, he yelled out, "EXCUSE ME…."

The crowd suddenly dispersed and Martha and him entered the shop only to have Mr. Mushnik state, "We're closed, all our stock is sold out." Mr. Mushnik had a bad feeling about this guy and so he quickly put Audrey II in a drawer.

The Doctor frowned, "Really? That quick?"

Seymour nodded, "Yes, Doctor all because of…."

Mr. Mushnik gave Seymour a hard glance and Seymour kept his mouth closed. The Doctor put on his glasses and inspected around the shop. "You're saying that all of a sudden a flower shop on Skid Row suddenly is doing landmark business when you haven't had any before."

"Yes…." Mr. Mushnik said.

The Doctor grinned, "Okay…." He then smiled at Martha, "Come along Martha Jones." The Doctor and Martha left the shop. As they left the shop, Martha frowned, "Doctor, shouldn't we do something?"

"Soon enough, Martha Jones. There's something going on in that shop. I'll figure it out eventually. Right now….I really need to finish my repairs on the TARDIS."

-0o0-

Mr. Mushnik took the plant out of the drawer and handed it to Seymour, "Put that plant back in the window. What did you call it, Seymour?"

"Audrey II…"

"Well put Audrey II back in the window."

Seymour nodded, "Mr. Mushnik, why did you hide the plant from the Doctor?"

Mr. Mushnik snorted, "Because I know a busy body when I see one and we need Audrey II. If that plant can help us sell plants then we can't have someone like him see it and possibly buy it or steal it from us. Now my children, I am taking you all out to dinner tonight."

Audrey and Seymour looked elated; Mr. Mushnik never took them out to dinner before.

But then Audrey said, "I'd love to Mr. Mushnik, but I have a date."

Mr. Mushnik frowned, not that no good Orin Scrivello, "You mean with that no good Senor Scrivello."

"He's in medical, Mr. Mushnik."

"You'll need a complete medical after a date with him."

"But he makes good money, Mr. Mushnik. Besides he's the only fellow I've got."

Seymour looked disheartened. Audrey said, "Goodbye Seymour. Have a nice dinner."

"Good bye, Audrey…." Seymour said sadly. Audrey walked off down the street.

Mr. Mushnik sighed and shook his head at the retreating figure of Audrey, "Poor girl…."

"Are we still going out?" Seymour asked, and suddenly Audrey II drooped and looked as if it was near death.

"You're not going anywhere Krelborn, you're going to stay right here and work on that sick plant."

"I told you it was giving me trouble." Seymour examined his plant, "The Audrey II is not a healthy girl."

Mr. Mushnik took his coat off a hook and began to put it on preparing to leave, "Strictly between us, neither is the Audrey I."

"If only I knew what breed it was?"

"Who cares what breed it is, Seymour! Look what it's done for business."

"I know."

"To work, Seymour. Nurse this plant back to health. I am counting on you. So fix, goodnight."

He then left Seymour alone. Seymour sighed and went back downstairs to the basement and looked at his plant. "Ahh Audrey II, I don't know what else I can do for you. Are you sickly, little plant? Or are you just plain stubborn? What is it that you want?" He placed the plant down on his work bench, "What is it that you need?"

I've given you sunshine  
I've given you dirt.  
You've given me nothing  
But heartache and hurt.  
I'm beggin' you sweetly.  
I'm down on my knees.  
Oh, please-grow for me!

I've given you plant food  
And water to sip.  
I've given you potash.  
You've given me zip.  
Oh God, how I mist you  
Oh pod, how you tease  
Now, please-grow for me!

I've given you southern exposure  
To get you to thrive.  
I've pinched you back hard,  
Like I'm s'posed ta.  
You're barely alive.  
I've tried you at levels of moisture  
From desert to mud.  
I've given you grow-lights  
And mineral supplements.  
What do you want from me- Blood?

Seymour was busy trimming some roses and he snagged his finger on a thorn, "Damn roses, damn thorns." His finger was bleeding and he stuck his finger in his mouth to stop the bleeding. He suddenly heard a strange sucking sound close by and turned to notice the plant, as if it was begging for a sip.

I've given you sunlight.  
I've given you rain.  
Looks like you're not happy,  
'Less I open a vein.  
I'll give you a few drops  
If that'll appease.

He put his finger near it and it nearly snapped it off. His eyes went wide. He was careful this time and slowly began to feed the plant drops of his blood. The plant greedily sipped them up.

Oh Please

Now please-oh please-grow for me!

**XXXXX**

**A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update this piece, but I wanted to make sure I had this down right before I progressed any further with it. Please R/R. **


	4. What a Wonderful Weird World

**Chapter Four: What a Wonderful Weird World**

The Doctor and Martha walked back to the florist. In the Doctor's hands was a newspaper of the Skid Row Times. On the front of the paper it read: **Weird Plant Found at Local Florist. **

The Doctor grinned, "Didn't I tell you something wasn't right at that florist, Martha Jones? Florists don't make money all of a sudden not without something influence people to buy plants. It has to be that plant Martha Jones."

Martha said, "Are you sure, Doctor?

"Of course I am sure. Did you see all those people go into the florist those past few days? All of them babbling about what a strange and interesting plant that was in the window and then buy hundreds of dollars worth of plants. That's not normal. The plant is clearly exerting some sort of hypnotic influence on people It could even be producing mind altering pheromones, I have to get that plant, Martha Jones."

"That won't be easy, Doctor. Do you see how Mr. Mushnik guards that plant? He acts like a bloody pit bull."

"Ahh but most humans don't have psychic paper, Martha Jones." The Doctor pulled out his psychic paper and slapped it around in the palm of his hand.

They walked into Mushnik's shop. The Doctor took a look around. The plant was nowhere in sight. Normally it was behind the window.

Mr. Mushnik smiled, "Looking for the Audrey II. I am sorry it's on Skid Row Radio today."

"What? That plant can't go on radio, Mr. Mushnik. Don't you understand that plant is exerting a great deal of mental influence over your patrons? Its making them come in and buy your plants, for what reason I have no idea as of yet. But it's dangerous, Mr. Mushnik, extremely dangerous."

Mr. Mushnik laughed, "Dangerous, don't be absurd. So it's a good marketing tool, nothing more nothing less. There's nothing wrong in making money, Doctor."

Martha said calmly, "Mr. Mushnik, please listen to the Doctor. He knows what he's talking about. If he says that plant is dangerous then it's dangerous, you must let him take it before it's too late."

Mr. Mushnik snorted, "Get out. If you even thinking of coming in here with ideas of taking that plant I'll call the police."

The Doctor rolled his eyes and looked at Martha. There was no sense arguing with Mr. Mushnik. The Doctor then said looking firmly at him, "You haven't seen the last of me, Mr. Mushnik." He then walked out of the shop with Martha.

Martha looked up at him, "What do we do now?"

"You stay put….Martha Jones. Keep an eye out for Seymour and the plant, just incase you see him. See if you can find Audrey and talk to her. Maybe she can convince Mr. Mushnik that that plant is dangerous."

The Doctor began to run off down the streets of Skid Row and Martha called out, "Hey wait a minute, where are you going?"

"Skid Row Radio….I am going to have a long talk with Seymour."

-0o0-

The Doctor entered the radio station. He asked where he could find Seymour Krelborn and was directed to a studio that was now broadcasting 'Wink Wilkinson's Weird World.' Looking around the room he found various people with strange and unusual objects. A woman came up to him, "What weird object or thing have you for Wink Wilkinson's show, today?" The Doctor frowned and brushed his hands through his hair bringing up his cowlicks. He thought about it for a moment and then grinned, "Me."

The woman frowned, "You….what's weird about you?"

"Well….." The Doctor grinned even more, "I am not human."

The woman snorted, "That's not weird. We get people in here all the time saying that."

The Doctor looked a bit deflated, "Oh…" He then said, "I have two hearts."

The woman blinked, "No you don't."

"Yes I do. And I can prove it." He pulled out a stethoscope out of his coat pocket and handed it to the woman. She put the stethoscope on and listened to the Doctor's hearts and her eyes went wide. His grin became even wider at her surprised expression, "Okay, you're on….and what's your name?"

"The Doctor."

"Doctor….Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor."

The woman nodded and the Doctor smiled as he saw Seymour plant in his arms, "Excuse me miss, when am I going on."

"Right now…."

The Doctor said, "Seymour, your plant it's dangerous."

The woman ushered Seymour into the room. The Doctor proceeded to follow, "Seymour you don't realize…"

The woman glared at him, "Excuse me but you're not permitted to…"

The Doctor flashed the psychic paper, "Oh….I am sorry, I had no idea. Go right in."

Seymour gave the Doctor an odd glance, "How'd you do that?"

The Doctor coughed, "Later…" Clearly the woman had fallen for the paper

They found a man sat down near a microphone. The Doctor presumed that it was Wink Wilkinson. "And now Wink Wilkinson's Weird World with your host Wink Wilkinson." He dinged a bell and hyped his intro and the Doctor smiled. "Hey everyone this is Weird Wink Wilkinson laughing and scratching at you. How's everybody doing today? I've got a great show for you today and some wonderful wierrrrd stuff." Seymour was nervous as Wink suddenly said, "What are you doing here?" Seymour frowned and Wink continued, "Please lady put your clothes back on." The Doctor was laughing to himself, but Seymour looked terrified and the Doctor whispered to Seymour, "Take it easy he's just playing with you."

"Please lady, it's Wink Wilkinson. You can't do this to me. What if your husband walked in?" Wink changed his tone and said, "I am here Wink….I love your show, I am sorry but I have to kill you both with a machine guy." He then made a machine gun noise into the microphone which made Seymour even more nervous. The Doctor said to him quietly, "You don't have to do this. You could just leave."

"Oh you've got me…" Wink exclaimed and then went all melodramatic, "Ooooh oooh….I feel, I feel SO VERY WEIRRRRD…"

Seymour went forward saying nothing to the Doctor, he had to do this or Mr. Mushnik would be upset.

"Now our first guest is somebody you probably all have read about in the papers. A young man by the name of Seymour Krelborn who has discovered a new breed of plant life hereto unknown on this planet."

"Hello Seymour." Wink pointed to the microphone signaling for him to introduce himself. Seymour gulped and said shyly, "Ummm hello Wink."

"I wish our listeners could see this. Seymour, where did you get such a WIERRRRD plant?"

Seymour said calmly and began to recite all that had happened when he first found the plant "Well…you remember that total eclipse of the sun that we had about a week ago…" The Doctor listened intently seeming to make a mental account of Seymour's story."

-o0o-

_Back at Mushnik's Skid Row Florist _

Mr. Mushnik listened to the radio as he counted out the day's profits.

"Thus concludes our interview with Seymour Krelborn, the young botanical genius. Do you mind if I call you a genius" Wink said over the airwaves.

"Gosh, no…." Seymour said.

"The genius who has discovered this amazing unidentified plant."

Mr. Mushnik muttered, "Tell them the address…."

A knock was at the door, it was Audrey trying to come into the shop. Martha had been waiting on the steps of a flat for what felt like hours for her to come. Mr. Mushnik opened the door and let Audrey in before Martha could even get up and talk to her.

"Did I miss it?" Audrey asked.

"I like to remind our listeners that the Audrey II is on display exclusively at Mushnik's Skid Row Florist…that's Mushnik's," Seymour stated.

Wink began to interject, "And now for our next WEIRRRRD thing…."

"M-U-S-H-N-I…."

"After these messages…." The call sign for Skid Row Radio was played and Mr. Mushnik sighed and turned off the radio, "I said mention the address." He said angrily. He then paused, "Oh well its still good advertising."

Audrey said, "Seymour's first radio broadcast. I wanted to hear it so badly. I tried to be on time but…"

Mr. Mushnik locked up the shop for the night and said as they exited the shop, "Don't tell me you got tied up…"

Audrey shook her head, "No, just handcuffed a little."

Martha gasped as she listened to the conversation outside of the shop. She had remembered Audrey with the nasty black eye and had stated that it was from her boyfriend. He must have handcuffed her.

Mushnik shook his head and walked off.

Martha got up and said to her firmly, "Girl you really ought to get another boyfriend. He's hazardous to your health."

Audrey lamented, "I can't….if I left him, he'd get angry and then he might hurt me even worse."

Martha sighed, "You really should leave him. Get another guy and leave Skid Row. What about Seymour?"

Audrey blushed, "We're just friends, he's so much better than I am. I'd leave Skid Row but…I don't have the money either."

Martha nodded and Audrey said, "I am trying though."

I know Seymour's the greatest  
But I'm dating a semi-sadist  
So I've got a black eye  
And my arm's in a cast.  
Still, that Seymour's a cutie  
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty  
And I dream of a place  
Where we could be together at last

A matchbox of our own  
A fence of real chain link,  
A grill out on the patio  
Disposal in the sink  
A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine  
In a tract house that we share  
Somewhere that's green.

He rakes and trims the grass  
He loves to mow and weed  
I cook like Betty Crocker  
And I look like Donna Reed  
There's plastic on the furniture  
To keep it neat and clean  
In the Pine-Sol scented air  
Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner  
And our bedtime, nine-fifteen  
We snuggle watchin' Lucy  
On our big, enormous twelve-inch screen

I'm his December Bride  
He's Father, he Knows Best  
Our kids watch Howdy Doody  
As the sun sets in the west  
A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine

Far from Skid Row  
I dream we'll go  
somewhere that's green.

Audrey then said, "You see Martha, I want to do something but…." Audrey cried, "I am trapped, trapped on Skid Row."

Martha sighed, "Maybe the Doctor can help."

"What can he do?"

"More than you can even realize, Audrey. He's so much and I can't even describe it, he's just wonderful."

"You love him, don't you?"

Martha looked forlorn, "I do, but he doesn't even act as if I exist. I've tried hard to…to get over him, but it's not easy. I still am very fond of him."

-0o0-

Wink Wilkinson looked at the Doctor, "So Doctor, they tell me you have two hearts."

The Doctor grinned, "Yep."

"That's so very WIERRRRD."

The Doctor rolled his eyes for a moment slightly annoyed and Wink then said, "So if you have two hearts…then you must be an alien…"

The Doctor was about to answer when Wink suddenly said, "We are entering another dimension…the Weirrrrd Zone."

Seymour sat in the room quietly as Wink interviewed the Doctor. He still didn't know how the Doctor managed to get in here; it had taken him days in advance to get an interview. He held onto his plant as it kept trying to stretch out and bite at the Doctor.

The Doctor gave a very stern look at the plant and held out his sonic screwdriver and the plant suddenly clamed up. He turned back to Wink and said, "Yep, I am an alien."

Seymour frowned; he didn't believe the Doctor to be an alien. He was sure that the Doctor was missing a few screws, but that didn't seem to bother Wink any.

Wink laughed, "Where are you from? Mars?"

"Gallifrey."

"Never heard of it." Wink said.

"I am not surprised. Few humans know of Gallifrey."

Wink then said, "So if your not a Martian. What kind of an alien are you?"

"I am a Time Lord."

"Right….. Time Lord, what are you like Father Time?"

The Doctor laughed, "No, but you're on the right track. I travel through Time and Space."

Wink laughed and stated skeptically, "Sure….you do. So if you travel through Time and Space, Who's going to be President of the United States in the 1980's?"

The Doctor laughed, "It's against the laws of a Time Lord to give out that sort of information."

"Oh come on Doctor if you want the people to believe you, surely you can give us a hint."

The Doctor smiled, "Just a hint. Well a hint won't hurt you. Your President will be an actor."

Wink said, "Is that it? Come on just a little more."

"Nope, that's all I can tell your listeners. I don't want to create anymore of a paradox by telling you his name. Because if I did, it might alter your course of history and that would be a real bother to fix. Just keep your eyes on all your actors, California. One of them is destined to be your President one of these days."

Wink smiled, "Tell me Doctor, if you're a Time Lord, will I be rich someday?"

"Nah, it doesn't work like that. I am a Time Lord not a fortune teller."

"No offense, Doctor but what's the fun of being a time traveler if you can't tell people the future."

The Doctor paused and said, "You humans are all alike, you think what can time do for you. Well I'll tell you this Wink Wilkinson and to all you humans out there, time is complicated. It's one of those things that you can bend but you have to be careful not to break. It's bendable like a rubber band. Stretch it as far as you can and it leads up to something interesting. I know how to get the most out of my time, unlike some. But you can't even begin to fathom what would happen if you pulled out a thread out of the fabric of time."

"What would happen, Doctor?"

"The end of existence itself. There are creatures out there that feed on disruptions in time and in the end they will consume everything."

Wink Wilkinson looked at his switchboard, "Doctor would you mind staying on. It seems that our listeners want to talk to you."

The Doctor grinned, "Well….I'd love to but I've parked my time machine in a no parking zone and you know what happens when you end up parking in a no parking zone."

Wink chuckled, "Well on that note, this is Wink Wilkinson signing off. Tune in next week for Wink Wilkinson's Weirrrrrd World."

The Doctor smiled and then shook Wink's hand, "It's been fun. I am really going to have to listen to your show a lot more. No wonder humans love this show. You give them a glimpse into the strange and unexplainable and nothing humans love more than to gossip over the strange and the unexplained."

Wink frowned, "Now come on Doctor, the show's over. I know you were just making this stuff up just to work the crowd."

The Doctor shook his head, "Now Wink you disappoint me. Here all this time I thought you loved the strange and bizarre and when you have it in front of you. You choose not to believe it." The Doctor sighed and then shaking his head some more he decided not to pursue the issue any further. He took out his Sonic Screwdriver and looked at Seymour, "Seymour you have to get rid of that plant. It's no good."

"I can't Doctor. If I did, Mr. Mushnik will kill me or send me back to the boy's home. The florist shop and Mr. Mushnik is all I have got, Doctor."

The Doctor sighed, "Alright you can keep the plant." He groaned lightly and ran his fingers through his hair, he had a feeling this was a mistake but seeing the pained look on Seymour's face. He really ought to just take the plant and let Seymour face the consequences of Mr. Mushnik. But so far the plant had done nothing harmful, not that he could see. Although it went against his better judgment to let Seymour keep the plant, he would give the plant and Seymour his 'no second chances philosophy.' "I must be getting soft in my old age. Anyway, one problem and I am taking that plant, do you hear me Seymour? And I will keep an eye on you and how you are tending that plant."

Seymour smiled, "Thank you, Doctor."

The Doctor glared at Seymour, "Don't thank me yet, one incident, one little problem and that plant becomes mulch."

Seymour gave the Doctor a hug and then ran out the door.

**XXXXX**

**A/N: Yea, I know slightly out of character for the Doctor to let Seymour keep the plant but if I had the Doctor take the plant right off then that would basically be the end of the story and we wouldn't see what would happen next. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and please R/R. **


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